The Cat got my tongue

Yep, that's what I'm claiming happened. The cat got my tongue and that's why I haven't posted anything here since January. I became one of those bloggers I hate--just disappeared for awhile with no explanation. In my defense, I have thought about a post a million times. I've had time, opportunity even. My problem was the direction I want to take this blog. Do I write about the things I really need to write about--the frustrations with my body, the irritations with my son's teachers, the crap at work (which isn't so much of an issue anymore) or do I leave it the kid blog? Hubby has issues with divulging too much family info. I, on the other hand, would really love some more feedback and think that I could really connect with others out there if I could only... explain/unload/vent. I have come to love several blogs and really connect with the women writers. They say what they want (I'm sure with some reservations like the rest of us on just how much to share) but when you get an audience that appreciates and identifies with what you are saying, it does wonders to your own feelings. Validation is something everyone needs.

We deal with some real tough issues at our house. When things get rough, I tend to wall myself back into a corner and stay there until it's safe to come out. A horrible defense mechanism taught by my mother, the ostrich. I lock my mind up and don't let it out. I deal with only the bare minimum in daily life to get by, or until I am forced to come back to reality. Unfortunately by then, the depression has taken a foothold and the downward spiral continues.

This is not the type of person I am suppose to be. This is not who I am. This is definitely not where I wanted to be in life--career-wise. If it weren't for my hubby and family, things would really be shit.

For now, I decided to just get a post up. Get some pictures up and see where it takes me. The thought of keeping up with another blog just doesn't sound appealing. I will have to carefully think how to tackle some of the subjects I'd like to blog about. Stay along for the ride. Comment if you can. It might be good for all of us.